Have you ever seen a butterfly work its way out of a cocoon?

Or a baby chick peck its way out of an egg?

It’s painful to watch, especially if you feel you should be doing something to help it.

If you “help” it out of the cocoon, it will die.

It’s a process that each butterfly must go through in order to thrive. It is the process of getting out of the cocoon that builds the strength they will need to fly.

I’ve been feeling that way lately.

I’m one of those people that usually move at a pretty fast clip. No time to waste. For instance, as much as I love the benefits of yoga, I struggle with the idea that I should be doing something more….productive.

I’ve been “white knuckling” it for quite some time now, holding on for dear life and moving as fast as possible toward something I thought I wanted. The harder I tried to figure out the answers, the more elusive they became.

For January, I gave myself the gift of backing away from that crazy ride and creating some mental and physical space. I’ve been cleaning out old files, my closet, the attic, my office. Allowing myself to do things I would normally think are unproductive in order to let some light in.

And it’s working.

So I’m trusting this process of cocooning, of knowing that I am not “doing nothing” but am shifting, morphing, and building the strength I will need to thrive.

How do you create mental space so ideas can percolate in the background?

- Ann

None of the athletes who compete in the Olympics just “ended up” there.

They didn’t accidentally get good enough to compete.

They didn’t just wish and hope and dream and visualize themselves being there.

And they didn’t listen to their critics.

• like the gymnast whose father told her she was too awkward to do gymnastics.
• or the hockey player whose older brother said he’d always be a loser.
• or the volleyball champion whose well-meaning friends smiled to her face but always talked behind her back about how she wasted so much time on her “hobby.”

What they did do was train as hard as they could…every single day.

They didn’t just decide that they wanted to go to the Olympics, they committed themselves to it. They chose to master their craft. What’s the difference? Deciding is mental; committing is backed up by measurable action – something you can see, count, replicate, and repeat.

I’ve done a lot of research on what makes women successful – specifically in four distinct areas. Their individual characteristics, traits, and beliefs are always a telling sign but that’s really about their potential for success.

The true deciding factor is their behavior. What exactly do they do with all that potential?

The winners act. They step out. They take risks. They do things that are uncomfortable. They challenge themselves…every day. They choose what’s hard over what’s convenient.

Are there other athletes in this country who had the potential to go to the Olympics? Absolutely.

Are there other entrepreneurs with the potential to go to the top? Almost every single one of them. Maybe we’re talking about you.

The deciding factor, however, isn’t how bad you want it or how much belief you have or whether you are task oriented or a people person or whether you live in the right neighborhood or whether you’re single, thin, young, beautiful, smart, willing, deserving, or educated.

The single deciding factor in whether or not you “win the gold” in your business is what you actually do in your business today…and tomorrow…and the next day…and the day after that.

Believe you can do it. Don’t listen to your critics (they haven’t done it either!) and take the biggest, boldest, most outrageous action step you can think of today. Then
repeat
repeat
repeat!!!

Be bold!
Ann

Did you know that over 80% of the conversation you hear around you is negative? It either tears someone or something down or is centered on the past – neither of which are productive. Examples:

• complaining
• whining
• traffic
• illness
• weather
• the “news”
• gossip
• sarcasm
• one-ups-manship
• self-deprecation
• things you can’t change.

Most people don’t talk about the past in order to learn from it, they just rehash it for the sake of easy conversation.

Unless you are talking about the past in order to learn from it, it is entirely unproductive. And when you have goals as big and audacious as the goals you have, you do not have time to be unproductive.

Negative talk also means tearing something or someone down. It can be overt or insidious.

Sarcasm, which on the surface appears to be humorous, is negative because it builds you up by tearing someone or something down. Self deprecation doesn’t build anyone up, it simply tears you down. One-upsmanship is based on negative competition – if someone wins it means someone else loses.

Negative language is habitual. Most negative people don’t even realize they use it and would tell you they are the most positive people they know. And yet, their language is full of negativity.

Being positive doesn’t mean happy, happy, joy, joy. It means using authentic language that focuses on the ideal future.

Being positive means you dwell in possibility, strategy, vision, goals, and “why not?”

Being positive means you give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Being positive means you always take the high ground.

Being positive means you expect to be delighted.

By its very nature then, being positive is productive. And isn’t being productive what will get you to the top?

Listen to the conversations you hear around you – the language you hear in the check-out line, at parties, dropping your child off at school, even at church! Most of what you hear will be negative (unproductive).

As you begin to notice it, you may start to feel lonely. (This is a good sign!) It means you have become aware of the difference in language.

Counter negative talk with something positive (and watch how others resist that!)

Then surround yourself with positive, forward thinking people. People that think the best – about you, about your business, about anything. If you want to grow and thrive, you must absolutely insist upon it!

Be bold!
- Ann
P. S. Jumpstart your thinking with my free 7-day “Take Back Your Life!” video course!

When my daughter was about five years old we spent a day at this beautiful ferry landing. It was a park setting right on the San Diego bay and was filled with streams, rocks, and trees. I watched her climb one of those trees until she was about six feet off the ground.

At this point she said, “Look how high I climbed, Mom!”

I instantly went into panic mode - my palms got a little sweaty, my throat was tight, and every instinct in my body wanted to tell her to climb down right away.

But I didn’t.

What I was feeling was my need to protect her but somehow I knew that I also needed to prevent my fear from holding her back. And that this would be the beginning of teaching her not to be afraid. So in complete contrast to every single cell in my body screaming at me, I said, “That’s great, honey – can you go higher?”

To which she smiled broadly and did exactly that.

A few years later she was climbing a rock wall at the community center and I heard her say to a friend who was just learning, “It’s okay to be scared, as long as you don’t let it stop you.”

You were not born to be afraid – you were born to be brave.

Fear is just a physical and emotional response to something new, producing a surge of energy, and designed to alert us to possible danger. It is part of our survival instinct. And it is also a fabulous tool that can come in handy if you choose to tap it to propel you forward.

Case in point – “adrenaline junkies” use fear to jolt them into taking greater and greater risks. And reaper bigger and better rewards.

As a child, you were taught to be afraid.

• Don’t touch the stove, you’ll get burned.
• Don’t play in the street, you’ll get hit by a car.
• Don’t run with scissors, you’ll put an eye out.

Many of us learned to be afraid of EVERYTHING new, not just new dangers.

Most new things that come into your life are things to be embraced, we just have a tendency to respond as if we’ll die if we try them. Aside from jumping out of an airplane or crossing a river of flowing lava, there are not that many new and scary things in your day that will actually kill you.

If you do the thing you fear quickly, you feel the fear only once. Once you’ve done it, the fear is gone – replaced with palpable relief and smoking hot confidence. The longer you put it off, the longer you have to feel afraid until “feeling scared” becomes a habit - the way you feel all the time.

To break that habit, start doing things quickly. Don’t ruminate. Don’t over think it. Just act quickly. (Hint: this is one of the true secrets of the super-successful).

The only way to stop living with fear is to do the very thing that has you so freaked out.

Go ahead and take a chance.
Risk being rejected.
Make a mistake.
Be your own adrenaline junkie and give yourself the gift of doing something scary.

Look at the people you admire – I’ll bet they seem fearless. I assure you, they are not. They just know that fear is part of the deal, but only for as long as they hesitate – like ripping off a band-aid. Remember, it’s okay to feel scared, as long as you don’t let it stop you.

No go out there and be bold!
- Ann
P. S. Jumpstart your day with my free 7-day “Take Back Your Life!” video course!

Wake up, brush teeth, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, run errands, take care of the kids, pay bills, go to bed.

Is that all there is?

For many, yes it is. They feel trapped in a life that is entirely unrecognizable from the one they dreamed of as a kid. Each day looks like the one before and it almost feels…too late.

Something more

Sunrise on the beach is one of my all-time favorite experiences. It represents hope and optimism and the promise of a new day where I have the opportunity to make a difference.

It’s a daily “do over.” A chance to reassess what we have been given, to be grateful for the gift of another day, and to renew our commitment to our purpose, values, and mission.

As much as I drink in each sunrise – standing in the surf talking with God and very often listening to Third Day (“their “Revelation” album is my latest favorite) – I am also aware that I will only have a finite number of sunrises.

How I choose to spend the 1,440 minutes after each one is entirely up to me.

I can waste it away being caught up in the minutia of life, wrapped up in the “me” of my day, whining, sniveling, and feeling put upon or I can step out with courage to face my fears, insecurities, doubts, self-talk, and critics.

Only one of those choices makes a difference in the lives of those who need what I was created to give.

Make an impact

You are here for a purpose and you were given spiritual gifts and talents specific to that mission.

Whether you choose to use them or not is up to you, but don’t kid yourself that you are not equipped or ready or even worthy for that matter. You most definitely are.

You have already been given everything you need to achieve greatness.

You are blessed with distinct spiritual gifts whose unique combination allows you to make a difference and an impact while you’re here. Only when you use those gifts – when you show up in a bold way – will you transcend your daily existence.

Maybe you make a difference when you speak, write, garden, parent, paint, nurture, quilt, volunteer, teach, coach, talk to strangers, preach, cook, plan, crunch numbers, or pay a visit.

Maybe you do it for a living or maybe you infuse your entire day with it, but it is how you uplevel everything and everyone around you.

You were not created to merely endure your life – you were meant to do something that brings others joy.

Whatever it is, go do it.
And be your absolute, very best at it.
Give it your all because the world is waiting for you.
Fall down, make lots of mistakes, dare to risk looking like a fool, and don’t let anyone take away a future you are destined to fulfill. Guard your gifts and dreams like they were your own children.

Don’t follow the money – follow your gifts. Be exactly who you were designed to be. Anything less would be such a loss.

Be bold!
- Ann
P. S. Jumpstart your thinking with my free 7-day “Take Back Your Life!” video course!
P. P. S. Yes, I took the sunrise picture

My amazing friend and power partner, Jenifer Madson, and author of the new book Living the Promises, told me recently to “stop doing what doesn’t work.” Well, she didn’t tell me to do that outright, she said it in a conversation about something else but it was one of those golden nuggets that she drops occasionally that just resonate with me in a different context.

I wrote it on a note and tucked it next to my mouse pad and have been looking at it ever since.

Note to self: Stop Doing What Doesn’t Work.

How often do we continue to plow through something, even if it’s not working, just because it exists or is set up that way, or because we created it and just can’t seem to let it go?

Like you, I have lots of ideas for my business. By ideas, what I really mean is “additions” and that feels overwhelming because I’ll have to do “more.” But a big part of adding new and more productive strategies, and increasing productivity, would naturally involve letting go of things too.

Stop doing what doesn’t work.

It’s scary to think of letting go of things. That feels like loss, even if there is so much to gain by doing so. What if the new things don’t work? I created those old things; I can’t just stop doing them, can I?

Yes, the answer is yes.

In fact, it is abundantly clear that in order to move forward with grace and purpose, I have to choose to stop doing what no longer works for me, no matter how attached I have become.

And therein lies the rub – I have become too attached.

Attached to ideas that are no longer current or valid.
Attached to processes that may have worked in the past but don’t work now.
Attached to systems that got me to where I am now but are not capable of taking me where I want to go.
Attached to things I created and thought should live forever.

What system have you become attached to that are actually holding you back? What process worked for you a few years ago that now feels like it doesn’t fit anymore?
What idea have you been nurturing for so long that it no longer serves your future or greater good?

What if you just stopped doing what doesn’t work? And what if the results were extraordinary?

Be bold!
- Ann

If you are worried about what other people think of you, you’ll never be as successful or as happy as you were destined to be. Who are those other people? Everyone.

It’s easy to cast off the opinions and judgments of strangers; you have less vested in what they think of you. It’s a whole different game when you realize you must also shrug off the opinions of people like:

• your father and mother
• your sisters and brothers
• your spouse and children
• your pastor
• your best friend from High School
• the women in your book club or your yoga class
• that neighbor on your block that judges everything you do
• anyone that makes you feel small

If you intend to be a super success, you must decide it is your opinion and ultimate choice that matters.

They are not in charge of your life, you are.

This doesn’t mean you don’t care what they have to say. Of course you care; they are important people in your life. It does mean that their opinion is not more important than yours. They are not smarter than you; they simply have a different perspective. If it differs from yours, that doesn’t make it the correct one. It is just a different one.

You can only become super successful if you mature. You are not in conflict with the opinions of others, you simply disagree. In fact, simply stating, “I disagree” with no emotion attached is one of the best ways to diffuse the attacks you may get for operating outside of their expectations for you.

You and only you can determine your level of success. How much longer are you going to allow other people to have a vote in your destiny?

Be bold!
- Ann
P.S. All comments welcome – please leave one below!

Everyone has a money story and everyone has a perspective on wealth. For instance, you may feel that providing your children with braces is a justifiable cost but that putting in a swimming pool would be frivolous. Or it may be okay for you to have a swimming pool but not okay to give your 16 year old a brand new car.

“Now that’s where I draw the line.”

Did you know your line in the “money sand” is an arbitrary limit? It was set years ago based on your background, your upbringing, your parents’ status and income level, your perception of those with more or less money than you, and your judgment of their morality and integrity based on their level of wealth.

That’s called a money “imprint” – it’s how you were “conditioned” to think about money and those who had it.

As children, we heard messages about other people and formed opinions about them based on the messages we were taught. Those messages (biases) could have been subtle or overt. And those biases included our parents/guardians’ judgments about money, about people who had very little of it and about people who had a lot of it.

As adults, we justify our expenses based on our money “story.”

And we define our earning potential by it as well!

Your line in the money sand is one you have drawn, knowingly or unknowingly. And because you were the one to draw it, you can also change it.

You’ll need to take a determined look at what level of wealth you find morally “acceptable” based on what you were taught because you won’t earn more than the line you draw.

1. First, determine whose perspective you have adopted as your own. (This could be someone from your past or your present.)
2. Define the messages you got from them about money.
3. Determine what you actually believe about wealthy people.
4. Lastly, draw a new line in the sand that feels right for you.

And don’t worry about what your parents will say. They drew their lines based on the messages they got as children. It’s sort of “hereditary.”

You’re not going to set your wealth level based on what was “acceptable” to your great-great-great-grandparents, are you?

Be bold!
- Ann
P.S. Like a little something more? Cruise the shop page anytime.

Remember those kids in High School that teased you? Or that bully on the block that never let a day go by without saying you were a “loser?” Well guess what, none of those people even remember you. And yet, you’ve lugged their memory and their image with you for years!

Your past does not equal your future. In fact, your potential is only what you believe it to be.

How sad would you be if you got to the end of your life and had to live with the excruciating pain of regret? There are few emotions more difficult to handle because there is absolutely nothing you can do to relieve its agony.

Perhaps that is what hell would be like, a view of all the amazing opportunities you let go by because you were too scared to step out in faith.

People regret the things they haven’t done all the time because they awarded fear a bigger place in their life than risk.

Fear of failure.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of feeling humiliated.

Those are certainly possibilities and, very likely, probabilities. But really, is the opinion of people you don’t even care about really going to be what you let drive your dreams?

Go out there and make a big, bold, amazing splash. Dazzle yourself and do it with flare.

Dare to be different and distinct and totally you. Anything else would just be a waste of the incredible person you were designed to be and, quite frankly, an insult to God.

(Just as an aside, I can actually hear my critics saying, “what a bunch of drivel, who does she think she is?” as I write this. I imagine them whispering and rolling their eyes. But you know what? I’m going to publish it anyway because it might just be exactly what someone needs to hear today. So for all my critics, who remind me that taking a stand is better than being mediocre, bring it on!)

Your life was meant to be a dance, filled with love and laughter and hope and an opportunity to make a difference.

You are not an amalgam of what everyone around you thinks of you. You can be anyone you want to be and I certainly hope you’ll decide to be the best version of yourself. Now get to work, the world is waiting for you!

Be bold!
- Ann
P.S. Like a little something more? Cruise the shop page anytime.

Are you playing to win? I mean, are you truly playing “full out” – with a no-matter-what, take no prisoners mindset?

The way I see it, no matter what your goal, you’ve got 3 choices:

Play to win.
Play to lose.
Play to “not” lose.

Wait, aren’t “winning” and “not losing” the same thing? No way.

If your approach to your life and your work is to “not lose” you never reach your full potential. You will always hold yourself back. Not losing means you are focused on the negative, what could go wrong, or how you could fail. And that means you set those up as possibilities in your mind. Because you’ve made them possible, there’s a good chance they’ll happen.

“Playing to win” means there is no other option. There is no alternative, back door, way out, alternate choice, acceptable fallback position, or runner-up status. It is your only choice and no other result will do.

That’s not an easy approach and that’s why most people, the ones getting mediocre results, play to “not lose.” Their goal is to avoid fear or pain.

• I’ll play, as long as I don’t get hurt.
• I’ll work my business as long as I break even.
• I’ll give it a shot but if it gets hard or uncomfortable I’ll find some excuse to justify quitting.

These people go all the way out to the edge of their comfort zone…and then stop! When you play to not lose, you let fear stop you dead in your tracks. Fear of rejection, failure, success, disapproval, not measuring up, being uncomfortable, making a mistake, getting hurt, or looking foolish.

Anytime you hear yourself say, “I can’t,” what you really mean is, “I’m afraid.”

Wildly successful people play to win.
They love winning far more than they hate losing.
They focus on winning. They do not focus on “not losing.”

And here’s a secret lots of people don’t know.

Wildly successful people are scared all the time. Why? Because they are always doing things outside their comfort zones. They are always taking risks, trying something new, leaning into the fear. In some cases, turning full circle, facing fear dead on and staring it down!

Fear never goes away, they just get used to feeling it.

Everything you are going after is outside your comfort zone.
Every time you do something that scares you, you are playing to win.
Turn toward the fear and play full-out!

Take charge!
Ann Vertel